We’ve all heard it before. Family and friends whining about a toxic acquaintance, friends, or neighbour. So, what do you do when you come to discover that you are in a toxic relationship?
Generally, nobody is willing to open up about how terrible somebody in their lives may be treating them. Nobody is willing to reveal just how that special someone in their lives made them feel small and insignificant by disregarding their feelings. Over and over again, good people are often treated very poorly. And each day, they brush it off by pretending nothing is going on. They tolerate all that mistreatment. And that just has to stop! Although nobody can control what their partner does and doesn’t do, they have the power of calling it quits and walking away.
Don’t know whether you may be in a toxic relationship? If any of the following is happening to you, chances are that you are in one.
1. They De-Value Your Feelings
If you’re experiencing feelings of anger, sadness, loneliness, or are generally scared – there’s a good reason for it. One of the greatest superpowers of us women is the power of intuition. If you have the courage of communicating your feelings and you are in turn met with “you’re being emotional”, “stop exaggerating”, “you’re being a child”, “you’re overthinking”… or no response whatsoever… major red flag!
2. Their Computer/Cell Phone/Video Games Take Precedence
It’s a fact that boys love playing with their toys. However, when you get home after putting in a hard day’s work, and you begin telling them how your day was – look where their eyes are focused. If their computer, video games, or cell phone take precedence over what you’re telling him, you should take that as a sign they’re not interested in your ‘story’.
3. Lack of Communication
Don’t get me wrong, not everybody is a good communicator. Still, if your special someone can’t at the very least attempt to communicate what they are feeling regularly, then that should be a cause for alarm. Heidi No specialises in childhood developmental communication. She explains, “Communication skills are developed from a very young age, so if there are any issues during this stage, they can be a major predictor for future problems with communicating. In saying this, there are always methods to improve personal communication skills, which should be a priority if a relationship is suffering because of it.” To build a lasting relationship, communication is key. It’s the right of both parties to know the stance of the other.
4. They Are Unfaithful
Although this may seem like a no-brainer, sadly not everybody defines cheating the same way. Regardless of whether it’s sending flirty texts with exes or an all-out intimate relationship with another party – if you feel disregarded and you have that gut-wrenching feeling in your stomach, that’s cheating. You should never have to feel as if you need to look through your partner’s cell phone or computer to search for evidence. If you feel something’s off, and it’s nagging you – it’s probably for a good reason. Go with your gut.
5. Your Relationship is Giving You Unnecessary Anxiety
If you’re constantly feeling anxious each time you’re with your partner, don’t ignore that feeling. Having sleepless nights? Wonder what/where and whom your partner is with every time? That’s super- unhealthy. You should feel at ease when you’re with your partner.
6. They Make You Feel Crazy
Is your partner making you feel like you’re going crazy? Well, that’s actually a thing, and it’s referred to as gaslighting. You can Google the term. If your significant other is continually making you question your morals, decisions, and/or sanity, this could be a classic case of gaslighting.
7. They’re Always Right
Chances are that you’ve encountered an individual who thinks they’re always In the right. It’s either their way or no way! What may seem as ‘self-confident’ is actually a façade for a deep insecurity. If they continually want to prove you wrong – you’re in a toxic situation.
8. They Are Controlling
Sadly, a partner who’s controlling can at times be good. They just care so much they’re afraid of losing you! They forbid you from going to certain social settings because they are afraid you could meet somebody better than them, or they forbid you from wearing certain clothing. This form of control is dangerous and isn’t love in the slightest bit. Gold Coast Wellness expert Janine Elliot warns, “This controlling personality isn’t healthy and usually signifies feelings of insecurity. If you find yourself in such a situation…run away fast! Nobody has the power of controlling your decision other than you.”
9. Your Happiness Is Suffering
Imagine having a wonderful day – only to get home to your partner and immediately feel the happiness drain from you. Sally Austin from Austin Therapies Brisbane explains, “Desolation loves to have company, and many times unhappy persons will get angry when you are in a good place. If your mood alters drastically when you’re around your partner – it’s high time you should consider leaving.”
10. They Bring You Down
Do you feel like your success is being diminished by your partner? Are they continually drawing attention to your weaknesses? Persons who bring others down with them are often unhappy with their lives and feel the overwhelming urge to undermine the success of others. Those little jabs can affect your overall self-esteem. Even worse, humiliating you in front of close ones as a mere ‘joke’ isn’t funny. I won’t stand for it any longer! If any of the aforementioned points are familiar, you’re in a toxic situation!
Speak up for yourself TODAY!
And if you need assistance on your love life, let Vital Partners find you a match contact us 🙂