So you’ve scored yourself a date! It’s the night of and adrenaline is pumping, you can’t decide what to wear, you’re stuttering your words already and your nerves are through the roof.Vital Partners want to help you reach your end goal of finding your special someone, so we’ve compiled a list of do’s and don’t’s to help you through your first date.
Making an impression is so important on the first date so there’s nothing worse than rocking up late or not showing at all! Each minute that you are late, adds to frustration and paranoia of your date thinking you stood them up or that they are unimportant for you to make an effort. Being late also shapes the way your special someone sees you, it'll make a bad first impression on your behalf. So please, be on time!
Men: By no means is your date expecting you to show up in a suit and tie, but she’s definitely not going to want to see a guy in a singlet, raggedy jeans and thongs. We know men get confused by what women want sometimes, so we've put together a list of items we know women definitely don't want on the first date;
- Thongs: they don't want to see your feet just yet unless your first date's at the beach
- Singlets/tanks: this is way too casual and may give off the impression that you just want to show off your guns, the beach date applies here too
- Ungroomed hair/facial hair: make sure you've put a comb through your hair and had a nice shave before you walk out the door
- Shower: this is probably too obvious but it's an absolute must! Ladies love a man who smells good. So in saying that put a little effort into your presentation. Your date wants you to feel good and that’ll make her feel good too.
Women: We know it’s hard to pick out the perfect outfit, shoes and matching accessories for your first date. But remember that men don’t take too much notice of the small things that took you an hour to decide on. It’s so important to be comfortable, so don’t pull out those new stiletto heels that’ll hurt your feet all night or that little black dress that you know is just a little too tight; you’ll spend the night pulling and tugging at it. Wear something you know you look good in, that way it’ll make you feel comfortable throughout the date.
When planning the date, choose an affordable and appropriate place; if going to a restaurant, don’t choose a pub and grub place, maybe opt for a more quiet and comfortable place to dine; you want to be able to have good conversation over quiet and relaxing music, not loud club beats where you have to shout every sentence.
Table manners are an obvious one. You don’t want to be chewing with your mouth open or even worse, talking with food in your mouth. Your date doesn’t want to be showered in your dinner!
If you decide to go to a bar, be mindful of the fact that this is your first date. Sometimes people are so nervous, they think that alcohol will fix the nerves; this is a big no no! Drinking excessively can only lead to negatives rather than positives and being drunk on your first date will give off a very bad impression.
Another controversial topic is paying the bill. Traditionally, it is understood that the man should pay for the first date; we agree. However if you have different feelings about this, always address it honestly. Ladies, always have money with you as an alternative (if the man forgot his wallet, it’d be a very awkward situation for you both!). It’s also a nice gesture to offer to pay even when your date declines and insists; at least they know you offered!
Be Interested Not Interesting
The point of the first date is to find out more about each other. It’s good to have an equal balance of question/answer, that way, you give yourself a chance to get to know as well as reveal more about yourself. But the first date is definitely about the other person. You want to find out if there’s a spark, and there’s no better way than to ask questions. However, don’t go digging into their deep and darkest secrets, keep the questions light hearted and fun! Some things you can ask include:
- What are your values/interests/aspirations?
- What do you like to do in your spare time?
- What is something you’ve always wanted to try but have been too scared to?
- What accomplishments are you most proud of?
- Best vacation/holiday?
- Dream destination?
Don’t be distracted by technology! We know it’s hard in this day and age to constantly check your phone for emails, messages and calls but you made your decision to go on this date to talk to and have fun with your date. Put your phone away for a couple hours and pay attention to yourspecial person!
End of the Night
Ending a date is just as challenging as starting the date! Don’t be nervous and just be genuine and truthful. If you had a good time, be sure to tell your date that. There’s nothing better than to hear that your company made someone else happy.
If you feel that the date didn’t go too well, that’s fine too; first dates are filled with shaky knees, knotted stomachs and nerves running up and down your body. It’s possible you didn’t feel any connection or spark on the first date, but you never know. The second date will definitely bring out more personality and comfort; so if it didn’t go too well, give yourself another chance!
And finally, if you say you’re going to call, make sure you do! Don’t leave your date waiting for you because that will definitely build anxiety and insecurity.
Remember these tips and we're sure you'll have a great light-hearted and fun night! Good luck and have a great time!