How Communication Influences Your Dating Success Before You Even Meet


If you've found a potential match through a dating agency, introduction agency or out and about, and are now preparing to get to know her, it's important to think about communication before you meet in person. Interacting and learning about each other certainly helps to take the edge of dating nerves and encourages both parties to put their best self forward, but the way you approach that pre-date communication can determine whether a woman feels apathetic or excited.

How should you communicate before you meet?

There's a lot to be said for online messaging and SMSing, but neither of these modes of communication are the best choice when you're contacting a woman you don't yet know. For one thing, SMSing doesn't allow for as much nuance and personal expression, as most people tend to keep these messages short and sweet. In addition, it's an impersonal way to approach someone, and it requires so little time and effort that it's unlikely to make the new lady in your life feel very special.

In contrast, calling is a deeply personal approach that underlines your interest in the woman you're contacting and shows her that you're happy to set aside the time to focus on her alone. Of course, it's smart to check that she actually wants to talk on the phone before inundating her with calls, as you'll occasionally come across someone who is uncomfortable with talking on the phone. However, most women will be delighted that you've taken that initiative to have a 'real' conversation--one that allows you to become familiar with each other's voices and hear each other laugh. You'll get a much better sense of each other and lay the groundwork for a far more comfortable connection on your date if you call rather than resort to SMSing.

How should you communicate once you start dating?

Once you've been on a few dates with a woman, you might wonder if you should still focus on calling when you want to communicate. The answer is that it depends on what you want to communicate. If you're just confirming the time of an upcoming date or checking in to see that she still wants to go to a particular restaurant, sending an SMS might be quicker and doesn't necessarily suggest a lack of interest. In fact, calling to ask her about every single small detail of your dates might become annoying and be perceived as clingy!

However, if you want to ask her about her experiences on a weekend trip, check in to find out how she got on in a job interview or just want to have a flirty chat that sets the mood for your next meeting, calling is still the best choice every time. It continues to suggest that you're thinking of her, want to focus on her and enjoy listening to her. In addition, it helps to keep you feeling close and connected between meetings, maintaining romantic momentum.