How to Overcome Jealousy


Some people say that when you’re jealous, it means that you care for the person, and whilst that is true, it can also make or break your relationship. Jealousy ultimately stems from feelings of vulnerability and insecurity. However, not all jealousy is bad; for example, healthy jealousy is when you feel envious of someone at work or school who is doing better than you. This entices you to do your best and overcome that feeling. Then there’s the type of jealousy that will break a relationship; it’s called crazy jealousy. As humans, we’re very good at creating stories in our minds to make ourselves believe that our special someone is being unfaithful. We’ve all done it before and it’s okay. It becomes not okay when you make it an obsession, something you investigate day in and day out until the relationship is rocky and trust is broken. This situation happens quite frequently. Jealousy definitely does not feel good. It gives you a terrible and uncomfortable feeling in your stomach, you probably can’t get a good night’s rest and your mind is on overload. Overcoming jealousy can be a hard task, but it is possible and it will help your relationship grow stronger.

When you’re in a relationship, you’re essentially in protective mode, which is completely understandable. You’ve finally found someone compatible with you and the fear of that person being taken away by someone better may lurk in the back of your mind. But by being healthily jealous, you can always use that fear as motivation to make yourself the best you can be (in saying that, make sure you remain yourself).

If you’ve been jealous of someone before, you’ll know that in your mind it makes perfect sense, but when you say it out loud to someone it may sound silly or stupid. That’s why jealousy can break up a relationship. If you don’t communicate with your partner about the way you are feeling, it will always get brushed under the rug and this will keep bottling up until you explode; major crack in the relationship. You know you’ve found someone special when you can be yourself around them (crazy and silly included), that’s why when you’re feeling silly about feeling jealous, you should express that. When your partner reassures you that there is nothing you should worry about, you will feel 100 times better.

Taking control of your emotions is a definite factor in overcoming jealousy. This means you should learn to step back and reevaluate the situation before acting on impulse. Being realistic and having control is definitely interlinked. Those thoughts in your mind may eat you alive, what you need to do is ask yourself ‘Are they really cheating or doing something behind my back?’ Having power over your feelings will initially enable you to strengthen not only yourself, but also your relationship with your partner as well. Overcoming jealousy is possible but it won’t happen instantly, you will have to slowly take the time out to make it work. This in turn, will help your relationship work as well. Good luck!