We’ve heard of this happening before. Have a baby! Fix the relationship! We’re here to tell you that this is the worst thing you can possibly do for your relationship. There’s probably a very rare occasion where this will be successful but the odds are really slim! Having a baby to save your marriage or relationship isn’t only wrong for you and your partner, it’s also bad for the baby.
A baby should be brought into the world from a loving place. A struggling relationship will probably struggle more if a baby is brought into the picture. Newborn babies are a lot of work, a lot of work. It takes personal growth, maturity and a strong bond with your partner in order to coordinate with your baby.
“What’s absolutely essential is two partners make a decision together to have a child,” – Pamela Jordan, PhD.
Reality of a Baby
The idea of having a newborn is romanticised, especially in your Hollywood movies. However, you must check back with reality and see if having a baby is truly part of the schedule or if you’re ready for the challenge. As sweet and beautiful as a baby is, it’s definitely a challenge that you commit 18 years of your life towards.
Challenges of a Baby
When you have a child without the correct preparation, it can be extremely stressful and exhausting. Your sleep automatically cuts into 2 (if you’re lucky) and your life is dedicated to this child. Lack of sleep and fatigue are things that can make a relationship even more challenging. So how does having a baby help your struggling relationship?
When you’re struggling in your relationship, you’ll also struggle in coming together as a team to give the child everything it possibly needs. Parenting is a teamwork effort and needs the love and support of mother and father to be as strong as possible. To be a team, you need to be on the same page or at least have similar ideas and perceptions necessary to raising a baby.
We have many more posts that can help you, visit our Vital Partners blog here.