Here at Vital Partners, we believe in all things related to love. However, we also strongly believe in being the best version of yourself before committing to a new relationship. Why is this important? People often feel that when you’re in a long term relationship, you become one entity. You do everything together; you think the same things, you eat the same foods and you speak the same way. Some people may lose themselves in their relationship. This loss of identity can lead to a major contributor to the break down of a relationship.
So how do we prevent this? Strengthening your soul and mind before falling in love. Having good self-esteem is a personality trait everyone should practice. Low self-esteem can potentially hinder your relationships, it can also heavily affect your everyday life. Low self-esteem can hide in ways you may not even notice such as:
- Feelings of not being good enough
- Disliking your appearance
- Doubting yourself
- Comparing yourself to others
Vital Partners matchmakers not only wants to help your love life, we want to help you build a better version of yourself so you are full of confidence for when love comes knocking on your door. The following factors will help you practice good self esteem, so get ready and live your best life in 2018.
SAY ‘BYE’ TO YOUR HARSHEST CRITIC
Your harshest critic is you. A good place to start building your self-esteem is to silence the negative voice from inside. You have an inner voice that either lifts you up or tears you down so be wise, listen and choose the voice that will benefit you. Silence the negative thoughts by replacing it with optimism and understanding. Come up with a daily mantra that will keep your negative thoughts at bay. Some mantras that we love are:
- I believe in me
- I am open to having a happy and healthy relationship
- I am open to receiving my soul mate
- Be the energy you want to attract
- I grow in love daily
- I will let go of bad relationships in the past and focus on new beginnings
- I am worthy of love
- I accept and honour myself even though I sometimes make silly mistakes
DO THINGS THAT YOU WANT TO DO
As human beings, we often strive to not only be the best version of ourselves but also to impress others around us. However, when you try too hard to make others like you, you start to do things that aren’t for you, instead you’re doing things to build others up. Start turning this around by achieving goals that you set for yourself. Stop impressing others because the first step to self love is to enjoy the things that you do for yourself. If you push your passions aside you’ll start to lose yourself in other people’s passions. For example, if you’ve always wanted to go bungee jumping however you’ve stopped yourself because you’re busy with life, take a break and just do it. Find that passion within yourself and give it a jump start by throwing yourself into new activities.
When was the last time you took a break from life and spent time appreciating yourself? Get into the habit of taking a moment everyday and thinking of three to five things that you love and appreciate about yourself. You can even write them down in a notebook and read it in a few weeks or months. This one simple task each day can truly help boost your self esteem little by little. Remember it’s the small steps that matter.
Self-affirmations were founded back in the 1920’s by French psychologist Emile Coue and are a staple of self help gurus and personal coaches. They have been found to truly boost an individual’s self-esteem and reinforce a positive chemical pathway in the brain.
OBSESSING WITH PERFECTION COMES FROM NOT BEING GOOD ENOUGH
People like you and I strive for perfection on an everyday basis. However, trying to be perfect in life can hinder you more than benefit you. Obsessing over something that is unachievable may result in disappointment and further low self esteem. Rid your thoughts of perfection and grab a quick reality check – realise that your life is unique and cannot be compared to a book or movie. Obsessing with perfection can hurt you, your relationships, career and studies.
Practicing good self esteem is just the first step to learning how to love yourself and be in a good relationship. There are other factors that you need to take into account so be sure to practice these everyday so you have full confidence with yourself. Make sure to have a read of our Vital Partners 27 Point Checklist that is available to you here.