Dating is complicated within itself, especially for anyone who hasn’t been in the game for a long time. Preparing for the date is just as important as knowing what you’ll do next. No matter what age you’re at, you’ll always get first date jitters because the concept of meeting a stranger for the first time will always be nerve-wracking.
If you’re a person who has not dated in a while, you may be emotionally guarded because of insecurities and vulnerability.
The wall that you put up may push away a suitable man or woman, making it difficult for you to find your special someone. That’s why, we, as your Vital consultants, encourage you to give yourself a chance for love.
So you’ve had your first date; you’re not sure if you’ve made a great impression and you’re not so sure if they want to see you again. There are about a hundred thoughts running through your mind and that’s understandable. We all do it! You probably feel like you could have talked more, or be funnier, or dress nicer. There’s always going to be something that you feel you could have done better and that’s human nature. That’s where second chances come into play and it’s why they exist.
The first date is more like a meeting; you’re getting to know someone and see him or her in the flesh for the first time. Your first meeting should be a simple back and forth, question and answer kind of date. Some people might find themselves stuttering their words and fumbling their knife and fork at dinner, that’s why you need a second date. People are quick to give up after the first try and that’s where insecurities stem from. Some of us need a bit of support and a bit of a push to break through the wall that they’ve built for themselves over time.
The second date will give you a larger platform to work off of. You know what he or she looks like, you know what they’ll laugh at and are interested in. You, yourself will also feel relaxed and comfortable with the thought of having a second go at a potential love life. Meeting again will give both parties an extremely huge confidence boost, allowing you to be yourself and seem as though you don’t have to tread on eggshells this second time around.
There are different stages in a process, and going from strangers to lovers is a definite process. You’ve conquered the first stage, which is the daunting task of picking up the phone (to call or answer) for the first time and talking to your date. People think that after the first date (stage two) is deciding whether or not you’re best as friends or there’s a connection and it can lead to something more. However, we think that’s a big mistake people make. It’s almost like asking you which car you’d like to buy based on the colour and price alone; you don’t get the opportunity to dissect the nitty gritty of the car. Similarly, after that first date, you only have a handful of information about them that you need to delve further into in order to make a decision.
Dating is very much an emotional math equation: A + B = C. You may not agree with this because there are factors that we haven’t added to the formula, however, strip dating of the nerves, knotted stomach, fear of rejection and all those other dramas, you simply get man + woman = relationship. Soon after, you’ll learn what to subtract and what to add. Please note this is just in regards to dating. The formula to a positive long lasting relationship is a whole other ball game (left for another time!).
In essence, what to do and what not to do after a first date depends on whether you’re willing to take a risk; unless the date went horribly wrong! There are now over 7 billion people in the world never give up on the hopes of finding someone for you. In saying that, give yourself the chance to get to know someone a few times before rejecting him or her completely. You will be surprised by the change you see in a second date, or third, or fourth or even fifth!