It is understandable to be a little depressed when all your friends are getting married, but after the reception you wind up going home to an empty apartment. It is easy enough to say that it is OK to be single, but who really wants to be alone?
Perhaps marriage is not all it is cracked up to be. The headlines blare at us all the time about the rising divorce rates. This could be a sign that there has never been a better time to be single, but there is probably more to it than that. Marriage is sometimes blissful, more often it is less than that, but divorce is almost always ugly.
Should You Lower Your Standards?
The notion that there is a perfect partner out there for everyone can take a beating after a few bad dates. It gets worse if good dates turn into bad relationships. I came across an article on a Dating Site blog which was encouraging ladies “of a certain age” to lower their standards, to accept the fact that Prince Charming was not going to come riding up the drive to sweep them off their feet.
It may seem like “all the good ones are taken or gay”, but there really are some good guys out there. Do they carry around a big sign that says “Hi, I am a Great Guy, and I am Ready For a Relationship”. Well, no, but then again, you would run away from them if they did!
Unless your expectations are so high as to be out of reach, there is no reason to lower your standards in order to find a man. You have every right to expect to find a man worthy of your many charms, so keep looking for the right guy. He is out there, but he might not look like what you expect him too.
One of the things that I see women “past a certain age” criticised for is expecting to find a wealthy man. Of course, it is true that money isn’t everything. It is also reasonable to expect that a man “past a certain age” is financially secure, and if he isn’t there is good reason to question why not before you get into a relationship. It may be that he is in a rough spot because a business venture fell through. This is actually a good sign- it indicates that if he believes in something he is willing to put everything on the line for it. He probably feels the same way about his love life.
You Don’t Always Have To Look Far
While the notion that you are waiting for the right guy to come along seems right, there is a good chance that the man for you may already be in your life. Perhaps you have a platonic friend that is worth considering for more than platonic relations.
This can feel weird. It might feel inappropriate to have romantic feelings about someone who has felt like a brother for so long. However, if he really isn’t your brother, then a brother-sister relationship might not be as appropriate as you think, and there is potential for a very passionate love affair.
One word of caution before going down the road of turning friends into lovers- you may not be the only one for whom it feels weird. Then again, he may have had these feelings for you for a long time, but too timid to give into them!