There’s no denying that finding love is one of the best feelings in a person’s life. However, most people tend to think love happens like in the movies, which could not be further from the truth. In some cases, the harder you try, the harder it feels to get a lasting connection, and probably end up asking why you
cannot find true love.
Well, there are several reasons why this might be the case, and taking a closer look at the most common might help you break the barrier preventing you from falling in love.
1. You are Choosing Unavailable Individuals
If you look back at your dating history, how would you describe the individuals you have been with? If you really want a lasting relationship, but end up getting vastly different results, then you might be going for the wrong people without knowing it. For example, you might find yourself drawn to women who are just looking for a fling or rebound, or men who do not want to commit. And instead of getting into a situation where you can enjoy, deep, committed and meaningful relationship, you only find yourself with people who are not on the search for long-term relationships. This is one of the most common ways to sabotage your love life. Life Coach Jeanine Sciacca says, “To break away from this behaviour, create a list of red flags from your past partners who didn’t want a lasting relationship. Go through this list on a regular basis, particularly when you are dating a new individual. Also, it is important to assess your own attachment style and that of your partner so that you can gain insight into why and how you may be repeating the same mistakes time and time again.” One of the best ways to pick a partner who wants the same things as you do is to gain self-awareness.
2. You are Afraid of Getting Hurt
If you have been betrayed or hurt by someone in the past, it can be hard to start a new relationship without overthinking and being afraid to experience the same thing. However, in order to find true love, you need to become vulnerable again. If you put up a wall and refuse to let people get close to you, it will be almost impossible to find true love as your connection will never go beyond the superficial and shallow level. The harsh reality is that you need to risk getting hurt or betrayed in order to find true love, no matter how hard it seems to trust anyone with your heart. Do not be afraid to take the leap of faith. Wellness Consultants from a prestigious Sydney Clinic say, “If you are having a hard time being afraid of being hurt, ensure you are looking forward rather than back.” Looking at the past will only make things harder. Simply realise that you are in control of every relationship going forward.
3. You are Settling
When it comes to finding true love, you need to set high standards for yourself. You have to pick someone because they make you happy. This is the only way to find lasting love. If you decide to be with a person for the wrong reasons, be it convenience, money, etc., love won’t come your way simply because your connection is not based on something substantial or meaningful like happiness. By saying you shouldn’t settle does not mean you need a comprehensive list of must-haves in a potential partner. As a matter of fact, being open to those you didn’t consider your type could result in one of the best love stories, particularly if you have been choosing the wrong partners in the past. Do not cancel someone just because you did not feel an immediate spark. In many cases, the best match is the one you least expect.
4. You Do Not Think You Deserve It
Both self-esteem and confidence play a crucial role in regard to love. Many people, however, have a hard time finding true love as they do not think they are worthy. These kinds of beliefs usually have roots going back as far as early childhood and have a substantial impact on your life. Business owner Peter Langenberg knows that self esteem is important in all aspects of life. “Confidence is a key factor in achieving the things you want, whether it’s a job, a relationship or even achieving financial goals!” If you struggle with immense feelings of self-doubt or low self-esteem, then it is about time you realise that the lack of confidence is not only affecting your behaviour but preventing others from connecting with you. Bringing such beliefs into conscious awareness in addition to actions that counteract them is a vital step in getting rid of those beliefs and a healthy way to get into the love game.
5. You are Not Putting Yourself Out There
The more you put yourself out there, the more individuals you get to meet and the more you get to push yourself out of your comfort zone. This will put you in a better position to find love. However, if you resist dating apps, go to the same bar every weekend, and do not actively take more chances to meet others, you will be losing the chances of finding someone who ticks your love boxes. Increase the odds of finding true love by following the tips mentioned above!
If you have been looking for a committed relationship contact Vital Partners today and let us help you find your special someone ❤️