Whether you’re a man or woman, you should never settle when looking for ‘the one’. According to a study back in 2015, it was found that males are getting married at the average age of 29.9 and females get married at 28.3 years of age. More recently, an article states that Australians are now choosing to wait a while longer to make the life long commitment (Herald Sun, 2017). The reason for waiting can range from women and men focusing on their professional life first, the effect of social media is causing people to have a certain fear of committing or they are simply waiting for the right one.
Settling refers to committing to someone even though you don’t feel they are ‘the one’ and you are simply settling.
It seems that between the male and female demographic, males are more likely unwilling to commit – Huffington Post writes that “men see things differently- especially this new age of men. Our thirst for new adventures is unquenchable…Studies show that members of our generation are waiting until their late 20s or early 30s to marry. Why relinquish the bachelor life when it is permissive of limitless indulgence? From a young age, we became accustomed to unrealistic standards of women through pornography.”
Let’s have a look at all the different reasons why your man is unwilling to settle down with your relationship as well as ways you can overcome this obstacle.
You’ll find that if you pressure a man into doing anything at all, it actually has the opposite effect, especially if you’re unreasonable or using it to your advantage in an argument. If you’re arguing about commitment issues, you should never tell your partner that he should be marrying you or moving in with you because you’ve been together for x amount of years. Instead, you should discuss and talk about the ways in which you can strengthen your relationship if your partner is willing to do this or that. A relationship is like a ladder to happiness – each step takes time, effort and a lot of hard work. You cannot go from the first step and expect to end up at the top straight away.
THE RIGHT TIME
If your partner happens to be in the middle of his studies or a job transition, getting married is probably the last thing on his mind. Everything takes time, however, these things also require the right timing. Being patient is extremely important when wanting your partner to commit – support them when they need you and don’t place any more pressure on them, especially when they are going through major life changes.
HE’S SIMPLY NOT READY
Commitment has been seen as quite a big issue for men – you see it a lot in Hollywood movies, books and TV shows. But there can be one major reason that is almost unexplainable – he’s simply not ready. It’s the most frustrating reason as there’s no real ‘why’ – it’s an uncontrollable feeling and it leaves your relationship up in the air. When he’s not ready and doesn’t know when or if he’ll ever be ready, what do you do?
It’s time to have ‘the talk’. You need to sit down with your partner in a safe space and place everything out on the table as honestly and openly as you can.
HE WANTS THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS
If your partner wants his cake and eats it too, he is far from ready to commit and even further from being in a relationship. If your partner is unwilling to settle down because he wants to go out with his friends on the weekend but still come home to a loving girlfriend, then you definitely shouldn’t be in this relationship.
We hope you have gained some knowledge in the world of men and commitment – this is definitely only four points that we’ve discussed and there are a lot more reasons as well as circumstances. Be sure to check out Vital Partners for more relationship advice and if you’re looking for a life long partner, be sure to contact our angels for a consultation.