Let’s get real and raw. If you’re single, you’ve probably felt the need to ‘get it out of your system’ and just have fun while you can. That term ‘fun’ can often result in the unfortunate yet not uncommon saga of waking up in a stranger’s bed. The motions of confusion, vulnerability and retrospection flood your morning. You’re also probably thinking ‘wasn’t this suppose to make me feel good about myself?’
Instead, it makes you think of your past relationship or your single life more than before.
To add to the frustration, there’s a double standard when it comes to one night stands. If you’re male, you’re ‘scoring’ and if you’re a female, you’re ‘whoring’. The first step Vital is taking to overcome these double standards is by talking openly and candidly about sex and the ups and downs that come with being single. As humans, why does one’s bedroom habits fall under a topic of taboo?
Here at Vital Partners, we’re dedicated to the ‘one’. We believe that just because you’re single, you don’t need to find temporary comfort that only ends in possible heartache. We believe that one night stands draw an arrow in a direction that often leads to an unhealthy relationship, hence, rendering it pointless.
THEY DON’T KNOW YOU
The first obvious factor is that they don’t know you. The most successful intimate relationship is when your partner knows what you like in the bedroom and vice versa. A survey showed that 81% of women did not enjoy their brief encounter as much as they had hoped. When you’re sleeping with someone for the first and only time, you don’t get the chance to explore each other physically to the full extent. And let’s face it, when they don’t know your body, the sex can often end with disappointing results.
FEELINGS OF REGRET AND SHAME
One night stands are meant to make you feel good, for now. They will never replace the comfort feeling of a stable and long term relationship. That’s why women may feel regretful after a casual hook up whereas men will have a feeling of loneliness after a woman leaves his bed. After a casual hookup, it’s common to feel used, lonely and depressed which also brings on feelings of shame or self-blame. When having a one night stand, some cases happen under the influence which means it was most likely a spontaneous decision. People think they ought to do it just to fill a void temporarily however wake up the next morning feeling regret.
A popular idea about why one night stands are detrimental is that you may develop feelings for your casual fling. This happens more than you realise. Intimacy often brings on an emotional attachment, one that is hard to fight off and is uncontrollable. However, everyone who commits to one night stands automatically signs an invisible contract that says ‘no strings attached’. Developing an emotional connection to your casual hookup can most definitely end in heartache.
There are emotional risks involved in one night stands, but medical risks are often overlooked. If you plan on having a one night stand, it’s so critically important to remember protection – no matter how drunk you are! Just asking your casual fling if they ‘have anything’ is not enough.
IT’S POTENTIALLY DANGEROUS
We live in the day and age where Tinder and dating apps are flourishing in the single world. Despite how secure these apps may claim to be, there’s no way of knowing how safe or dangerous your blind date may be. Meeting someone and getting to know them for a mere hour or 2 is never enough to know the risk you are putting yourself in by going home with your casual fling-to-be. At Vital we screen and qualify all of our singles to ensure our client’s safety is at the forefront
IT CAN BE INCREDIBLY AWKWARD
Sleeping with a stranger can make you feel extremely vulnerable. Being completely bare can make things awkward for both parties and can also be a rude awakening. Awkward sex is one thing you don’t need in your single life! Another awkward factor is that you can run into them in the future – imagine that scene.
Have we scared you away from one night stands? As love experts, we definitely understand the need and urgency to be intimately fulfilled and if you feel it’s something you need to do, we 100% understand. However, we are here as a guide to help you understand the risks and aftermath of these actions. Just keep them in mind!