When people get into relationships, they start thinking of ‘me’ as a ‘we’ however, this can be quite detrimental to your wellbeing and your relationship. You may think that you need to put your partner’s needs and wants before yours as a way of showing you love them. This is a big no-no! In the beginning stages of a relationship, you may feel that prioritising your partner before you is something you should do however, for your own mental and emotional state, you should definitely always put yourself first.
If you’re fresh into a relationship and you give 100% of yourself, while the other person only puts in 50%, if that relationship doesn’t work out, you’ll be left feeling quite broken.
Selfishness is OK
Being selfish doesn’t mean you have to think about yourself 24/7 – it actually refers to you putting yourself as #1 priority in life. Everyday, you should ask your self:
- How am I feeling today?
- How is my mental state?
- Am I happy?
These simple questions can make a huge difference in the way you start your day.
If you’re not selfish, then your needs will never be met which can lead to unhappiness.
Have a Balanced Relationship
A great relationship combines both selfishness and empathy. If you’re able to be selfish and also love and support your partner unconditionally, you’re on your way to a healthy relationship. If you don’t keep your needs met, how will you possibly keep your partner’s needs met? Having that perfect balance in a relationship can help strengthen your connection and lead you to a long lasting relationship.
In life and relationships, moderation is key!
Selfishness Does NOT Equal Narcissism
The word selfish has a really big negative connotation attached to it. There’s no surprise why people are almost afraid of being selfish. Being selfish can help you achieve a lot in life, not just relationships. Working on yourself should never be perceived as a negative thing – it’s healthy for you and your mental wellbeing. Once you’ve learnt how to love and help yourself, you can learn how to love and help others.
Don’t be afraid to be selfish!